I actually did not think it would get this bad again. I was doing so good staying away from self harm but I couldn’t take it anymore. I actually said to myself today jokingly “oh no food to eat maybe I should just pop a couple pills” but I was completely serious. I’ve been eating so much the past days because that’s how I help myself. But it doesn’t work. Day after day it’s basically just like things are getting worse. All day in school I want to fucking punch like 8 girls in the face because the go “I want to kill myself” “my life sucks my parents won’t let me hangout with my bf” “I hate my life my bf just broke up with me” it’s so annoying when they don’t know how easy they have it. Sometimes I think I’m a fucking physho path because of the way I think, what I think is right or wrong, and the things I do. I always fall for the worst people for me because I never have a chance with them. First person I had a serious crush on was kind of related to me, and I never told anyone but my one friend Lauren but I’ve had feelings for her for about 3 years and I’m not sure if I still do anymore, I don’t think I do but still it got to the point where I was just a complete creep around her. I would send her thousands of messages and letters all of the time. I took about 9 pills which I was hoping would kill me, but I blacked out and nothing else happened. It’s getting this bad again because of so many things. I’ve fucked up so much in my life I honestly hate myself so much. I don’t expect anyone to read this or care but I just need to vent.
things id say to you if you asked why you should give me a chance
•are you a triangle cause’ you’re kind acute
•ill touch you’re butt
•I uh, I’ll bake for you
•I give kisses
•ill make you feel good physically and emotionally you picking up what I’m putting down homie
if i had a kid id secretly get one of those clap on clap off light switches wired to their computer and if they ignored me id just clap and their computer would shut down and id be like yeah thats fukin right son u look at me when im talking to u